


try to chase the crazy right out of my head

by fackinglouis1 (fackinglouis)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, lou is sad and insecure, nick just loves him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fackinglouis/pseuds/fackinglouis1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Every time I try to go for a jog or go to the gym, I get distracted,” he sighs and Nick watches as Louis tries to pull on one of his own sneakers before realizing they’re too big for him and kicking them back off across the floor. “Last time I tried to exercise I came home with a blender and I don’t even know how to cook.” </p>
<p>“So that’s why I have an extra blender,” Nick muses out loud, dropping down to sit on the bed and remembering coming home to a shiny new blender on the counter one day last week. He had meant to ask Louis about it but was prematurely distracted by his pop-star boyfriend singing at the top of his lungs in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	try to chase the crazy right out of my head

When Nick gets home from the station he expects to find a lump of warm, sleepy Louis hiding away from the morning hours under his thick comforter, Lex somewhere nearby. It’s a rare day off for Louis which means Nick is going to toe off his converse, ruck off his jeans, and crawl into the cozy, inviting bed with him. 

He’s expecting Louis to be loose and pliant so Nick can cover him up and sleep with him pulled tight against his chest. And he’s expecting for Louis to be loose and pliant so Nick can have a bit of fun after said sleeping is over. What he isn’t expecting is to walk into his bedroom and find Louis hopping about, pulling up a pair of joggers over his briefs. It’s actually the exact opposite of what he was hoping for. 

Louis straightens up and catches sight of Nick with a smile. “Do you know where my trainers are?” he asks, sparing a moment to raise up quickly on his tip toes and give him a peck before returning to his hunt. “I can’t find them anywhere and I’m late.” 

“Late for what?” Nick does nothing to hide the deep frown setting on his lips, he’s upset and ready to be petulant about it. Even though Louis has a habit of sticking his cold toes and fingers into Nick’s warm skin and clinging like a koala when he sleeps, Nick’s gotten quite used to it. So used to it in fact that he sort of loves it when Louis drops his dead weight against him. 

“I didn’t tell you?” Louis asks, voice muffled from where he’s leaning into the closet, flinging Nick’s and his shoes alike. “I’m meeting with the trainer I hired today. And I realize I don’t have any trainers that are meant for real athletic things except my cleats and I can’t wear those for obvious reasons.” 

He’s gotten pretty good at listening to Louis talk a mile a minute and pick up on the importance of his words, but this one throws him for a loop. “What do you need a personal trainer for?” 

“Every time I try to go for a jog or go to the gym, I get distracted,” he sighs and Nick watches as Louis tries to pull on one of his own sneakers before realizing they’re too big for him and kicking them back off across the floor. “Last time I tried to exercise I came home with a blender and I don’t even know how to cook.” 

“So that’s why I have an extra blender,” Nick muses out loud, dropping down to sit on the bed and remembering coming home to a shiny new blender on the counter one day last week. He had meant to ask Louis about it but was prematurely distracted by his pop-star boyfriend singing at the top of his lungs in the shower. 

Louis nods and triumphantly pulls out a pair of worn shoes Nick has never seen Louis wear in his life. “What I need is one of those hard ass trainers who will threaten my life or make me cry if I don’t do my crunches.” 

“I’m still not following,” Nick says and beckons Louis to him until he’s close enough for Nick to wrap his arms around his thighs, holding him just under the curve of his bum and pulls him until he’s standing between his legs. Louis drops his palms to rest over Nick’s broad shoulders, squeezing once while Nick rubs up and down Louis’ sides. 

Nick smiles up at Louis, tilting his chin until Louis reaches down for a kiss. “Stay home with me,” Nick murmurs against his lips, moulding his hands into the curves of Louis’ waist and bringing him even closer. He knows Louis is a cuddler and loves his sleep just as much as Nick so he’s pretty confident it won’t take much to convince him to stay with him. 

Louis hums and Nick can see the wavering doubt starting to build in his eyes, can feel it in the way he leans more heavily onto him. Nick twists himself to lie on his side, bringing Louis down on to the bed besides him with a quick yelp. “C’mon, love. Aren’t you tired?” 

“I don’t know if I can just cancel out of the blue,” he says, but nuzzles his face into Nick’s neck. Just a bit more and Louis will be his for the day, and rightfully so. “I know you want to, darling. Stay and cuddle with me. You’re decidedly warm and soft right now and I don’t think I could let you go if I wanted to.” His words are meant to make Louis kick off his trainers and slide under the covers, but they have an inverse effect. 

Louis tenses up before pushing himself out of Nick’s arms and off of the bed. “No, I really should be going. I’ll probably already be late and I don’t want to make a bad first impression.” He’s grabbing his jacket and turning for the door so quickly Nick barely has enough time to sit up and grab his wrist. 

“Whoa, whoa, where are you going so fast, fussy?” he asks and pulls a now resisting Louis back into his arms. “What’s the matter? What’s with this sudden urge to work out?”

“It’s never too late to get in shape, Nicholas,” Louis says just a touch condescendingly and taps his nose with a nod. 

“Are you telling me I’m out of shape?” Nick mock gasps and achieves a smile from Louis who shakes his head. “You know I think you’re fit, babe. I was talking about myself actually.” 

He says it in a way that’s too casual and with a shrug that Nick doesn’t quite believe. “I’m pretty sure your busy schedule of being a preteens fantasy husband keeps you in shape,” Nick says slowly and surely, making sure Louis understands what he’s saying. 

“Yeah, well, it couldn’t hurt, yeah?” Louis picks at a loose thread from the collar of his t-shirt, blue eyes hidden behind his eyelashes. “Maybe just a few pounds before tour,” he adds quietly, his lips tugging up slowly into a smile to try and reassure Nick that it’s nothing to worry about and he’s happy about the trainer. 

Nick’s been with Louis long enough to know him and how he worked like he was just an extension of his own body. He’s got walls of jokes and mocking expressions so thick around him that nobody would ever be able to tell he was anything but a confident boy bander. But Nick’s seen first hand the cracks in his armor and has spent nearly a year trying to slowly chip it away to reach the Louis who’s still a little unsure of himself and a lot insecure. 

He can see it in the way Louis will only ever sing for real when he’s with the other boys, the rest of the time singing purposefully off key and horribly until Nick throws a pillow at him or swallows the screeches with his own mouth. He can see it in the way he always works his hardest for the band as if he’s got it in his head that he’s still earning his spot and he doesn’t deserve the success as much as the other members. 

And it makes Nick angry that Louis can be so quick to build up the other boys with a quick compliment or “Don’t put yourself down”, but doesn’t do the same for himself. Instead he lets the negative comments and the wayward thoughts grow and fester inside until he does something about it like ask Harry to work on his voice with him or hire a personal trainer. 

“That’s mental,” Nick decides, settling his hands over Louis’ hips. “I wouldn’t want you to change for the world.” 

Louis sighs and absentmindedly pats the side of his neck placatingly. “We can’t all get what we want, love. I don’t want to be,” he furrows his brows, searching for the right word for a moment before finishing with, “ _soft_ , or however you put it.” 

Nick groans, dropping his forehead against Louis’ chest. He wishes there was a manual on how to be a good boyfriend and reassure your boyfriend that he was gorgeous because he doesn’t know what to say. Louis is stubborn. He knows a simple kiss and ‘ _You’re beautiful_ ’ will help as much as doing nothing at all. “You know I didn’t mean it like that, Louis.” 

He can feel Louis’ fingers brushing through his curls and massaging his scalp and Nick presses a kiss into whichever part of Louis his lips are against. “Lie down with me, darling. There’s no way you’re going to that trainer today.” 

Louis lets out a long suffering sigh and slumps against Nick. “I don’t think I’m fat or anything,” he tells him matter-of-factly. “Just that I’ve gained some weight and I could be skinnier.” 

Nick forcefully pulls him onto the bed then, dragging Louis up until he’s laying against Nick’s chest. “Where’d you get this lovely nugget of thought?” he questions, feeling an awful lot like a psychologist all of a sudden. 

Louis shrugs against him, wiggling to toe his shoes off. “You don’t have to do this, Nicholas. I can look in a mirror well enough and see when my stomach pokes out. I can see the differences in the pictures with the rest of the boys and I can read the tweets about it. There’s no use in pretending I’m some gorgeous chappie.” 

“You’ve got millions of girls telling you you’re gorgeous every day, sweetums,” he breathes into Louis’ hair which starts moving side to side with his shaking head. “No,” he tells Nick. “The screaming girls are for the other lads. They’re all super fit, that we can agree on.” 

Nick nods in agreement, urging Louis to continue on with his thoughts before he shakes him into his senses. “And I don’t really fit in next to them. Everyone can see it, but they’re too polite to admit it to my face.”  

His silence seems to encourage Louis to continue and he pushes himself up to rest on his elbows, too jittery to be swaddled in Nick’s embrace. “They’re all handsome and heartthrobs, right?” Louis nods to himself. “And I’m the funny one whose sort of camp and whose stomach is so big that it’s got it’s own name.” 

“Hey,” Nick shushes before he can go further with his campaign of self hatred. “Hey, now. Louis.” He’s at a loss on how to go about this without sounding like a cheesy rom-com. But when he looks up at Louis to see him squeezing his eyes shut and then blinking frustratedly, wide eyes blue and glassy and dim, he throws all inhibitions to the wind. “I think you’re a right heartthrob,” he starts, watching closely for Louis’ reaction. 

Louis scoffs wetly and rolls his eyes. “Come off it, Grimshaw. Just having a bad day is all, don’t mind me.” 

Nick is in no way whatsoever going to let Louis brush off his feelings so carelessly and pushes himself up and rolls them over so he’s up on an elbow, leaning sideways over Louis. “You’re  _my_ heartthrob, Louis Tomlinson,”  he tells him, knocking his nose into the side of Louis’ cheek. “And I don’t settle down for just anybody.” 

Louis closes his eyes, turning his face to smush it into his chest so he can feel his hot puffs of breath through his shirt. Nick, just because he can, pulls at the tiny baby hairs growing at the nape of his neck until Louis pinches his side, all nails and painful squeezing. “Why are you being so nice to me?” 

He smoothes his hand down the back of Louis’ neck, only stopping to rest over the familiar, lovely curve of his hip. “Just telling the truth, babe.” The way Louis is breathing is still heavy and uneven. “You have millions of girls who love you and the way you look, promise. It’s a bit unnerving actually.” 

And he feels the kiss of Louis’ lips right there against his heart, just pressing sweetly and sadly into his skin. “You want to hear a secret, little duck?” Nick breathes into his ear.

“Whenever I see a picture of you and the lads, you’re the first one I see.” Louis stays still. “It’s almost unfair, but you outshine them. Quite striking, you are.” At that Louis huffs and shakes his head, moving to pull away and probably roll his eyes in Nick’s face. Nick just pulls him harder against his chest and hitches a leg over Louis’ hip so he’s trapped. 

“Finchy teases me, but I’m always changing my background to different pictures of you. You look gorgeous in so many and it’s really a shame I only have one screen,” he sighs like it’s a true tragedy and can feel the beginnings of a smile in the way Louis’ cheeks twitch against his chest. 

The words are on the tip of his tongue and he wants to say them, that sometimes he can’t believe Louis picked him of all people because Louis is breathtaking in the morning when he wakes up, in the night when he’s bright and alive, and every moment in between. Even when he’s sick or grumpy or yelling at Nick-which is actually quite often. But something, maybe his pride or his stupid ego, stops him from choking out the words. 

Instead, he says, “And I would only allow myself the greatest. I don’t settle on anything but the best, I’ll have you know Louis Tomlinson. And you are the best of the best.” Louis’ fingers dig into his back and he knows he understood when he turns his face and smashes a kiss into Nick’s lips. Or really- his chin and then sloppily moves to his lips. 

“Beautiful,” he murmurs into Louis’ lips. He spends the rest of the day kissing the words into Louis’ skin until he’s sure they’re engraved there over his stomach and thighs and face, across anywhere he can get to. “Absolutely stunning.” 

And the next day, Nick will always deny doing this if ever brought up, he fishes an old thesaurus out from the office and snaps a picture of the long list under the word  _beautiful_ , sending it to Louis with a bunch of different colored heart emoticons. Louis sends a blue heart back and calls to let the trainer know he won’t be able to make it in indefinitely. 


End file.
